The Kindness of Strangers/Transcript
The episode opens on a shot of a trio of birds circling the sky as, the title "Nomad of Nowhere" fades in, and then out. The Nomad runs into frame and collides with a wooden cart containing a casket, causing him to fall backwards. A man approaches him, carrying a skeleton. Undertaker: Whoa easy there, friend. You look scared half to death and I'd know. (placing skeleton into the cart) What seems to be troubling you? In the distance, Toth and Skout can be seen riding on horses as they leave large dust cloud behind. They stop in front of the Undertaker. Skout: (waving) Hello! Toth: Skout please. You, Undertaker. We're in pursuit of a dangerous criminal have you seen anyone of questionable demeanor? The Nomad peeks out from the casket in the cart for slight moment before retreating back inside. Undertaker: Well, that certainly sounds troublesome. What, pray tell, makes this criminal of yours so dangerous? Skout: It's the Nomad of Nowhere, the only feller with bonafide magic. Toth: Skout! All that matters is that we're looking for him. Now, have you seen him? Undertaker: I sure have ma'am. (the Nomad begins to panic before the Undertaker points in the opposite direction) He ran off that way. Skout: Well come on Toth. You heard the man, let's cut dirt. Thank you sir! See, you can always count on the kindness of strangers! Undertaker: It's okay, friend. They're gone. (the Nomad peeks out of the casket again) You know, I find it rather unfair of people to judge one another. If you really are a criminal then your judgement will come after you've left this corporeal world behind. (the Nomad looks around, slightly confused) I'm trying to say you're safe with me. Now, now. Bounty hunters love this side of Nowhere. It's wonderful for business, but trouble for you. Tell you what I can take you across the treacherous part of the desert so you can continue on your merry way. How's that sound? (the Nomad gives a thumbs up) Splendid! Make yourself comfortable friend. It's a bumpy ride. The Nomad lays back as the Undertaker closes the casket and the screen goes black. Later, the two finally come a stop. Undertaker: Come on out, partner. The Nomad opens the casket to take a look around. He finds that he is in front of a small shack surrounded by many graves. The Undertaker then suddenly hits him in the head with a shovel from behind. The Nomad wakes up, cuffed to a wall with literal "hand cuffs" in the Undertaker's basement. The Undertaker walks down the stairs at the opposite side of the room. Undertaker: The Nomad of Nowhere. Unbelievable! Now I'm not sure what those Dandy Lions would have done to you, but I promise you're safe with me. Isn't that right, Clarence? The Undertaker looks over to a skull sitting on a table in the center of the room, obviously receiving no response. The Nomad attempts to shake free from his restraints. Undertaker: There's no use in struggling. Those 'hand' cuffs are of my own design, and they only open with my 'skeleton' key. (sets down a key made of bone on the table) Pardon my wordplay. I've never had a 'live' audience. Oh, I've done it again. (chuckles as he places a music box on the table as well) Now, handcuffing you up to the wall like a prisoner might seem inhospitable. But I didn't want you taking off on me before I had the chance to talk. I've heard you can do some amazing things. Things that have piqued my professional curiosity. Taking the hint, the Nomad begrudgingly claps and brings the music box to life. It begins to dance around and play music before the Undertaker place a glass dome over it. Undertaker: There it is! Fascinating! Simply fascinating! So curious this ability to conjure life out of nothing. But is this life? Is it truly? Does it have a soul? Free will? Or are these Critters of yours simply slaves, animated only to do your bidding? (the Nomad and music box exchange glances) Wait, no. Are they intelligent? And to what measure? Are the extensions of you, their master? Quick! What's the square root of nine? The music box holds up two fingers. Disappointed, the Undertaker looks up to see that the Nomad is also holding up two fingers before he quickly . Undertaker: So there are certain limitations. That's no good. No good at all. How could- What's that Clarence? (looks over to the skull again) That is peculiar. Why did you bring the music box to life and not the key? Why don't you try it again? The Undertaker sets down his pocket watch on the table. The Nomad tries to bring the key to life, but only manages to bring the pocket watch to life. Undertaker: (laughs) Well, would you look at that! Don't you see? The skeleton key, like your restraints, is made of bone! Dead material. You can't bring life back to that where it has left. But it seems your magic has to go somewhere! I take it you didn't know that. (the Nomad slightly lower his head) That's all right. We're both learning new things. It's certainly fascinating. (placing pocket watch in his pocket) Though it is a tough break for Clarence. But, that's to be expected. No one in Nowhere can perform necromancy anymore. Although, we might be able to change that. The Undertaker leaves the room. The Nomad snaps his fingers to get the music box's attention, and tells it to get the key next to its container. The music box points to the skull, as if it's standing guard. The Nomad scowls slightly, so the music box attempts to push its dome over to the key, but stops as the Undertaker returns with a book in hand. Undertaker: Do you know what this is? A spell book. Only the Y'dala still harp on about the old days, before El Rey, before the magic disappeared (the pocket watch critter jumps out of the Undertaker's pocket). Lo and behold, they're right, and this book is proof. The problem is I can't understand most of it. And even if I could, I'm not familiar enough with magic to do anything meaningful. But you, you could learn. (the pocket watch begins to climb the table leg) Imagine what the dead could tell us if we were to bring them back. It would be irresponsible of us not to pursue such queries. Don't you agree? The Nomad gains an annoyed looks on his face, sternly and slowly, shaking his head no. Undertaker: (angry) No? No?! But you have this blessing! You could do so much! Expand your powers so greatly. Instead of playing stupid games! Much to the horror of the Nomad and the music box, the Undertaker smashes the pocket watch with his fist. Undertaker: Bringing animation to these useless trinkets does them no favors. What is the point of it all? Why do you... (looks over to see the Nomad's shocked expression) What is it. You're upset over this? Why? Do you feel responsible for them? Do you feel the need to protect them? Then why bring them to life in the first place? Unless... They're here to protect you. Good question Clarence, what does make him so special? What does he have inside him the rest of us don't? Perhaps we should find out. The Undertaker takes out a large knife and approaches the Nomad, preparing to cut into him. He is interrupted by a knock at the front door upstairs. Undertaker: I'll be right back. Don't let him out of your sight, Clarence. The Undertaker answers the door to see a large man standing with a human-sized sack labeled "Medium Stephen" on his shoulder. Undertaker: Why hello there friend. How can I help you? Man: Friend's dead. Undertaker: Begging your pardon? The man tosses the body into the Undertaker's hands. Man: Old partner here took a flurry arrows out there on the hunt for that old Nomad. Undertaker: I'm grateful for the business friend but- Big Jib: You can call me Big Jib. (points at his nametag which says "Big Jib") Undertaker: Big Jib. But you see I am rather pre- Big Jib: (pushing his way past the Undertaker into the house) Thanks for understanding during these trying times. Back in the basement, the music box begins to escape by pushing its containing near the edge of the table and falling out of the bottom. It salutes the Nomad and then runs upstairs. In a separate room, the Undertaker and Big Jib are having a discussion. Big Jib: How much is a tombstone. You charge by the word or the letter on that? Not sure if he'd be happy with "Medium Steve." Undertaker: I'm sure we can accommodate whatever you can afford sir. Big Jib: That Nomad sure is a wild one. Heard he done made some fella punch himself out to death with his own fist. That's dark magic for you. Undertaker: How... tragic. Big Jib: You ain't happen to seen him anywhere? Undertaker: I have not. I can't say the company I keep is very... 'lively'. (silence) You see that was a bit of wordplay because their corpses. Big Jib: No, I understood. I just find that offensive and unprofessional. (the music box sprints by behind them) What was that? Undertaker: Um... What was what? Big Jib: I thought you said you was all alone out here. Undertaker: Please sir. There's no need- Big Jib takes a gun out of the holster on his back, the barrel incidentally pointing at the Undertaker's face. Big Jib: Somebody's here. The music box finds that the key is hanging on a hook of a coat rack. It climbs a hanging coat and successfully retrieves the key when Big Jib runs up to it and takes aim. However, he is confused at what he found. Big Jib: Huh. (Big Jib is hit from behind with a shovel by the Undertaker) Oh, unprofessional. The Undertaker aggressively beats Big Jib with the shovel repeatedly. The music box takes the chance to return to the Nomad and throw him the key, allowing him to free himself from the cuffs. Placing the music box on his shoulder, he runs out of the basement only to be confronted by a gun-wielding Undertaker. Undertaker: Now, friend, you can't go yet. There's still so much you don't understand. Like how I'm trying to help you. I'm the key to unlocking your true power. These bounty hunters are the least of your worries! Once people know what you can do, there'll be no place for you to run. If you leave now, things will only get worse for you. The music box suddenly leads from the Nomad's shoulder onto the Undertaker's face, causing him to fire his gun. Undertaker: (grunting) You stupid... thing! The Undertaker rips the music box off of his face, and hurls it at a wall, smashing it into pieces. Undertaker: Now you are going to show me your magic! Now angry, the Nomad stretches his arms out and makes one large clap that echoes through the shack and causes it to shake. Multiple objects proceed to come to life, such as a clock, a shovel and a lantern and many more. They begin to encircle the Undertaker. Undertaker: W-wait. What are you doing? Stay back! Stay back! (tries to fire the gun, but finds he is out of ammo) No, please! I don't wanna die! After a few small moments, the Nomad snaps his fingers to signal the critters to stop. He picks up t he broken pieces of the music box and takes a look back at the Undertaker who is curled into a ball and shaking. Time passes, and the Undertaker is seen tied up in a chair, still shaking. The Nomad gives a nod to the critters, and they begin to take their place and return to normal. Undertaker: Please I have so many more questions. What did you do? Where have they gone? A-are they still here? Ignoring the Undertaker's questions and pleas, the Nomad takes his spell book and proceeds out the door. Undertaker: Don't take that! Where are you going? Don't leave me with them! (muffled as door closes) Don't leave me alone! Taking a moment to relax, the Nomad leans against the closed door when he sees a dust cloud in the distance, with three figures riding on horses. When Big Jib finally regains consciousness and calls out, the Nomad flees. Big Jib: (kicking down door, holding his head) Hey! The Nomad was here! He was here I tell you! On a nearby hill, the Nomad makes a small hole where he buries the music box's pieces and the spell book together. Big Jib: Come on boys! He was here last night. I swear it. Bounty Hunter: I call dibs! That money's mine! Taking the chance to escape, the Nomad runs away, looking up to see three birds circling the sky as the screen cuts to black. Category:Transcripts